Eating Vegemite is a great Australian tradition, but for normal people who enjoy things that taste good, Vegemite is a load of shit. A totally heinous blend of sweat stained socks, petrol, wasabi, live ants, and stale bread, melted together with the texture of drying phlegm and the colour of soy sauce. Seriously, what is wrong with you people?
Now Vegemite is inflicting its reign of puke on delicious Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate. A food which has become the pastime of romantic evenings on the couch enjoying the company of a loved one, now ruined forever by the pungent stank of this culinary national joke.
Hat tip to BuzzFeed for doing the legwork and beating the pavement to get this story to a country already beleaguered by bad decisions.
Words by Jake Cleland