Top 10 Judge Judy Moments
It’s not easy being Judge Judy. For 17 years, Judith Scheindlin, via the magic and indubitability of television, has helped resolve small-claims, petty gripes, and general minor-property damage chaos seething in America’s underbelly (otherwise known as ‘the 99%’). Six days a month, filming 10-12 episodes a day, Scheindlin, in her signature exasperated and acerbic style, presides over a parade of broken down friendships, incoherent defendants, feckless plaintiffs, and failed relationships with a beef but not a legal bone to hang it on.
And the Judge knows her law. Admitted as prosecutor after taking her bar exam in ‘65, she worked in the family court system before beginning her TV Career in the mid-nineties. She now has five books published, including Don't Pee on My Leg and Tell Me It's Raining and Beauty Fades, Dumb is Forever, and earns $45 million dollars a year for 52 days work, making her the highest paid TV personality in the world. She takes the show seriously, this isn’t Jerry-Springer-style conflict for entertainment’s sake; she doesn’t tolerate bad manners or physical violence. She will verbally knock you down if you try and bring hearsay into her courtroom, she’ll dismiss your case instantly if you try and convince her your dog has mental anguish and don’t have expert evidence to back it up, and she will shut you down if you don't give her a straight answer to a simple question.
Often, it’s hilarious. Other times, it makes you wonder if America is doing enough or too much for its disenfranchised citizens. Here’s our top 10.
#10 Rocket Science
I think this defendant went to the school of [Miss Carolina]
#9 That’s Like Somebody Walking into a Knife
I now have a nightmare of waking up at 3AM to Judge Judy standing over my bed, laughing maniacally.
#8 “They were my friends...I thought they were my best friends”.
We’ve finally settled a long-standing question: strung out neurotics can’t live with nerds dressed up as bikers who kill birds for fun (or something). I wish I could find the rest of this case and ascertain what ‘ongoing tension’ they were trying to settle. The are so many great quotes in the post-court interview, I just have to wonder if it’s real or not:
“The guy's crazy, but he’s not a bad friend...usually.”
“I mean that’s how life works, right? You just use people and then... you move on.”
“Kate is nasty, filthy, underwear on the counter, never fed the cat...the cat died; it was a mercy killing. I didn’t kill the cat, John didn’t kill the cat, because we only smash things out-side, we don’t smash inside, we love smashing stuff, gotta say we do.”