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The one thing all 'supercuts' lack

If you'll permit me a few moments to grumble (it's been a while, really, I've been pretty upbeat for some time now), I have a bone to pick with a particular internet trend and it relates to film and TV.

Specifically, the "supercut" or "fake trailer" trend, and as it's the end of the year and with it begins the grim slog through year-end round-ups and best-ofs, I have plenty of fuel for this particular fire. 

Which is, specifically: WHEN WILL THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE SUPERCUTS LEARN ABOUT EDITING AND BREVITY?

Let's start with the 2012 trailer mashup: 

Yes, that's SIX MINUTES AND FORTY SIX SECONDS worth of trailers mashed together. Imagine how much more "oompf" it would have had if it had been even half that length.

Because, you see, how long is the average trailer? Two, maybe two-and-a-half minutes at most. If we're talking teasers, even less: one-and-a-half, maybe half-a-minute. 

So why is it that, time and again, supercuts and fake trailers drag on interminably?

(A simple answer would be "Because most people are dropkicks and have no concept of filmmaking", but then this blog would be ridiculously short.)

I suppose the trend began with Pajiba's/hh1edits' "Top 100" (or, regrettably, sometimes more) moments-type cuts, the first notable edition of which was The Other 100 Best Movie Quotes Of All Time: 

As time wore on, however, hh1edits seems to have realised that - with the exception of the occasions that call for reeling off 100 or 150 quotes or moments - keeping things short is a surefire way to keep them funny. On average, most of their supercuts come in at a tidy 3- or 4-minutes. 

If only those who'd followed in hh1edits' footsteps had actually, you know, learned from them, too. 

The bloated, under-edited fake trailer is one of the banes of my internet existence, which is to say, most fake trailers are. If you are going to go to the trouble of making a fake trailer for something, or recutting a trailer in a different genre, why not take it that one step further and actually make it THE LENGTH OF A BLOODY TRAILER IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

The best one of all time (and no it is NOT Brokeback To The Future) suffered from excess filmic flab in its initial incarnation, but was then cut down to a far more realistic 2:30-minutes - and, surprise, turned out to be far funnier:  

It's the end of the year, surely more supercuts and trailer mashups will follow the behemoth posted above. 

Please, for the love of all that is holy, can someone get these people a copy of Editing For Dummies?

My name is Clem and thank you for listening to my story. 

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