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Replacements- TheVine’s guide to the affordable film star

Replacements- TheVine’s guide to the affordable film star

Who's saying what

See also Skeet Ulrich, aka poor man's Ethan Hawke.

inscrutable-advice

Man, actors can be expensive. What with their demanding agents and red carpets and their manicured dogs. These people cost money, and the best of the best cost even more money. Sign up a star and you might as well kiss your liver goodbye – if not through substance abuse then some complex guarantor system with the studios.

Thankfully, though, for every big name, there’s a bunch of smaller players who fit the mould. Maybe they rocked up in tinsel town a touch too late, maybe they’ve fallen on hard times, or maybe they’re just a tiny bit shit. Either way, they can plug the gaps when you need to hang onto your cash for some special effects. Lasers. 

With that in mind, TheVine decided to put together a guide to b-grade actors for the financially strained filmmaker. When you need a solid performance and can only pay peanuts, these are the people to call.

The Independent Leading Lady

How good would it be to have Julia Roberts in your movie?! Haha! Keep dreaming, asshole. Thankfully, God’s been kind to you by creating…

Kyra Sedgwick, who as an added bonus can play more than one type of character.

Licence to Kill

Many argue Pierce Brosnan was the greatest ever Bond. They obviously didn’t see Die Another Day. Still, if the producers ever drop the casting ball they could call…

Charles Shaughnessy: superspy with a bowtie. 

The Entertainer

Who doesn’t love Mickey Rooney? Asian people, that’s who. So if you need a classic entertainer and the studio boss is Japanese, you’d better get on the horn to…

Dick Van Patten, a guy who can mug and boggle while maintaining a modicum of respect for foreigners. Also, dog food.

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6 comments so far..

  • Jake_D's avatar
    Commenter
    Jake_D
    Date and time
    Thursday 14 Mar 2013 - 4:10 PM
    You forgot Tom Hardy and "cut-price Tom Hardy"
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0362766/
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1334869/
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  • AlyxGorman's avatar
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    AlyxGorman
    Date and time
    Thursday 14 Mar 2013 - 4:20 PM
    @Jake_D is cut-price Tom Hardy available for Bachelorette parties? I'm asking... for a friend.
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  • Spamelot's avatar
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    Spamelot
    Date and time
    Thursday 14 Mar 2013 - 4:30 PM
    Cut-price Tom Hardy is definitely better than Tom Hardy, who I've never understood the attraction for.
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  • MattShea's avatar
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    MattShea
    Date and time
    Thursday 14 Mar 2013 - 4:39 PM
    Noted on cut-price Tom Hardy. Maybe some sort of Part 2 is in order.
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  • inscrutable-advice's avatar
    Commenter
    inscrutable-advice
    Date and time
    Thursday 21 Mar 2013 - 8:15 AM
    Bah, Jayne Mansfield was a far better comedienne than Marilyn Monroe, anyway. Seriously, calling her "the lady the newspapers called when they needed a headline" is just demeaning; it's not like Marilyn wasn't a headline-grabber.
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  • inscrutable-advice's avatar
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    inscrutable-advice
    Date and time
    Thursday 21 Mar 2013 - 8:16 AM
    See also Skeet Ulrich, aka poor man's Ethan Hawke.
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